It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I figured that I should fill you in on what I’ve been up to in 2021. I also haven’t really focused much on non-bookish content up to this point, so it’s nice to shake things up a bit. It’s been a strange year and a half, to say the least. I graduated from undergrad in 2019, applied for a research Fulbright, started working, and then the pandemic hit. Since then, I found out I wasn’t selected as a Fulbright finalist, took the GRE, started working from home, and have been trying to figure out post-graduation life amidst the pandemic.

Work/Career Updates

On the work front, I was tapped to be the interim executive assistant and board liaison at the organization I’m working at in April or May 2020 and started working full time in that role in June. I was supposed to back to my original job by September/October 2020…and ended up in the role until mid-March 2021. It took us so long to hire someone, and I don’t want to discuss that in much more detail right now, but I’m planning to write a post about some of the things I learned as the executive assistant. I’m now back in my original position and trying to figure out what my next career steps are…including considering graduate school and/or re-applying for the Fulbright. I haven’t been in a huge mood to talk that much about any of this (though you’ve probably seen me talk about it on my social media channels), but let me assure you that I still have no idea what I’m doing and I feel insecure about it all the time, but I also see so many people in the same boat and see so many people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s+ reflect on their 20s and it comforts me a lot.

I Started Writing Again!

This warmer weather has done amazing things for my mood, honestly, but I still struggle with finding motivation to do things or to wake up early and work on things like my blog before work. I have had a few wins though! In February, I participated in my 9th year of February Album Writing Month (FAWM). You might recall my post about being insecure about starting to write again. Well, for over a year after I wrote that, I still had barely written anything. It honestly ate at me a little bit, but I thought that FAWM might be a good time to dip my toes back in to the most accessible writing form to me right now: lyric writing. I set myself a goal of 5-7 new songs (lyrics only) (to “win” FAWM, you need to write 14 songs during the month). And to my utter shock, I actually wrote 7 songs! And I mostly didn’t hate them!

It was actually really nice. I found out that my writing process is pretty different now, and I was also able to use snippets of lyrics that I’ve been collecting over the years. I mostly wrote “diaristic” lyrics (think Taylor Swift’s lyrics pre-folklore), but I also tried writing outside of that again too. I haven’t written too much since then, but I’m so proud of myself, and I think it helped to break me out of the fear of the blank page a bit. I’ve jotted down some new snippets, written a song or two since February, and very much feel like I’ll write when I am compelled to but also won’t be too hard on myself if I’m not writing consistently.

Other hobbies

Since graduating and mostly stopping dance, I’ve also picked up a few hobbies again. (The dance thing is a longer explanation, but I don’t want to get into that right now.) I go through phases with most of these, but I am trying to teach myself guitar again. I’m also knitting and crocheting again. I used to prefer crocheting, but I’ve been really drawn to knitting lately. I’ve made three hats, a scarf for my sister so far, and some coasters and small dishcloths for my mom. I’m out of materials/yarn and need to get some new knitting needles, but I want to try making some tank tops/crop tops/bralettes or something during the summer. I find that there’s a point when you begin at which you have to suddenly really level up on materials, and I get a bit stuck there because I’m not entirely sure what to get and don’t want to waste money on the wrong materials…but I’ll let you know how that goes! And of course I’ve been trying to get back into blogging consistently again. 🙂

Friendships After College

I spent many months after graduation and during the pandemic thinking and worrying about my friendships and relationships with people. On the friendship front, I was struggling to adjust to changing dynamics and interactions after college. I talked a bit about it on the podcast What I Cried About, but I hated the way my conversations with friends felt surface level and superficial and often only about either work or about things we’ve been reading and/or watching. I was worried that my best friend was no longer my best friend and that we were drifting and we didn’t really confide in one another anymore because we didn’t talk all the time. I was (and honestly still am) too nervous to take part in group game nights and got worse and worse about doing group movie watches. I was upset but also cognizant of boundaries and respecting that people’s time and priorities are different. A friend and I both went through a really anti-social phase at around the same time, and we haven’t been able to start up our usual conversations again and that feels weird.

But somewhere along the way over these past few months, I’ve really started to be at peace with all of it. I know that not everyone can offer everything I’m looking for and that that’s the beauty in having different kinds of relationships. I know deep down that if my friends found me annoying or clingy, they wouldn’t be making the effort during the pandemic to keep in touch. It’s also totally okay that some people aren’t able or don’t want to video chat or talk during the pandemic. I know that there are some people where you don’t talk for months but can pick right back up. I know that the length of conversations doesn’t equate with the quality of the friendship. I feel so much more secure in these friendships and relationships. Nothing has really changed, but I guess something just clicked. So if you’re feeling the same way as I was, it’s not a forever feeling. I hope you find that peace for yourself.

What I’ve Been Reading/Watching

During the pandemic, I’ve gone through phases where I’ll binge watch TV and movies, then I’ll binge read books, and then I’ll not want to do either of those. Right now I’m in that last category, though I’m keeping up with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, am buddy watching Lupin, and am in the middle of rewatching Agents of SHIELD. I’m really grateful that my library is open, has a lot of COVID-19 precautions in place, can get me most of the things I’m looking for, and is nearby/walking distance.

A few recent highlights of stuff I’ve read and watched:

• Leave the World Behind by Rumaan Alam (review to come)
• The Other Side of Perfect by Mariko Turk (review to come)
• Schitt’s Creek
• Wandavision
• Agents of SHIELD
• Minari (review to come)